How many sexual partners do most people have?

One of the most common sex questions we’ve received over the years is how many sexual partners people typically have. The question also comes up frequently on social media, where the number is often referred to as the “death toll.”

We first answered this question on our blog That was about 10 years ago, so we thought it was time to refresh these numbers and see if anything had changed. Below, we look at data from the National Survey of Family Growth (US) 2002-2019, as well as some more recent youth-based data and some data from the UK

National Survey of Family Growth: 2002–2019

The National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) is designed to generate U.S. national-level survey data on a variety of family planning topics. Data were collected through face-to-face interviews and private self-assessment surveys.

In 2002, the median number of lifetime sexual partners among men aged 25-44 was 6.7. The number has fallen slightly in all surveys since then and currently stands at 6.3.

In every survey, women consistently reported fewer sexual partners than men. In 2002, the median number of lifetime sexual partners for women aged 25-44 was 3.8. However, this number continued to increase in the following years and currently stands at 4.3. The following is from NSFG 2002-2019 data Break this down in more detail.

Importantly, the table only contains the following data: opposite sex partners, so these numbers are really only for heterosexual individuals. Additionally, it’s important to note that these figures include partners with whom people reported having had any form of sexual contact, including oral and penetrative intercourse.

Another thing worth pointing out is that the difference between the median number of sexual partners for men and women has narrowed. It’s not clear why this is the case, but the gender gap appears to have narrowed.

As for why men consistently report more partners, many attribute it to the sexual double standard, where women are judged more harshly than men for their sexual behavior [1]. this could be a man exaggerated reports their sexual experiences, while women False negative. Research shows there is some truth to this, and that men and women use different counting strategies when reporting the number of partners (for example, men are more likely to estimate numbers, while women are more likely to do mathematical calculations).

Breaking down the numbers further

Of course, the median only tells part of the story. The median represents the 50th percentile, where exactly 50% of the responses are above this number and 50% of the responses are below this number. Let’s break these numbers down to a more granular level.

When we do this, we see more variation, with some reporting much lower numbers of partners and others reporting much higher numbers. Below, a table copied from NSFG 2015-2019 gives us a more complete look at these statistics.

For women, the most common number of partners was 2-4 (29.2%), followed closely by 5-9 (28.6%). For men, the most common number of partners is actually 15+ (28.3%), followed by 5-9 (25.8%).

Additional data on lifelong sexual partners

Recent data suggests the number of sexual partners people may be having is declining, particularly among young people. For example, a majority of women (58.2%) reported having only one partner, as did nearly half of men (45.1%), according to 2021 data from the California Health Interview Survey of adults ages 18-30. This is consistent with other data showing that young people are having less sex than previous generations. There are many possible explanations for this, including the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic on sexual development in this age group.

How does the number of couples in the United States compare to other countries? Data from a nationally representative UK survey (NATSAL) yielded almost identical results, with a median number of male partners of six and a median of four female partners.

Finally, if you want to know how you compare to the average number of sexual partners in your lifetime, We found this interactive tool on Slate Use data from general social survey These comparisons are made for you. However, we encourage you to treat these results with caution and remember that there is no “right” number of sexual partners a person has.

If you have your own sexual issues, record a voicemail: talkpipe.com/sexandpsychology Get answers on a blog or podcast.

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refer to:

[1] Jozkowski, KN, Marcantonio, TL, & Hunt, ME (2017). Sexual consent communication and perceptions of sexual double standards among college students: A qualitative investigation. Perspectives on sexual and reproductive health, 49(4), 237-244.

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